Quick Burst of Feminism

Maybe it's because I just listened to a great podcast about Adrienne Rich.


Or maybe it's because I spent way too much of yesterday in heels.


But I saw this on facebook today and almost posted one of those incredibly annoying facebook status rants.  Instead I saved it for here.  PS Language warning, all you kindergarteners who read this blog.

FUCK THIS.
1. Everyone does this sometimes.  In fact, I think I know way more annoying passive-aggressive males than females.  This may be because I come from a long, proud line of vocal women, so I'm not at all saying the opposite stereotype is true - the ability to say one thing when we mean another is just universal, not female.


2. Not everything a woman says is intended to be male-centric.  Personally, when I say "I'm cold", I mean...my body temperature is low.  I am cold.  You should probably turn up the heat, but most likely I would have already added that tidbit.  I may or may not want to cuddle, but I will be sure to let you know if I do.


3. While everyone does do this sometimes, the vast majority of the time, if a woman (or anyone) says, "Leave me alone", it means "Leave me alone.  I'm mad at you right now and will let you know when I no longer am."


This is the more serious point here: women are not children, in spite of what life boat rules may seem to suggest (super excited to see Titanic 3D...)
When women say x, the assumption should be that they mean x.  Because this kind of logic is exactly how we end up with women being pressured into things they didn't want, and men not understanding how that happened.  Yes means yes, no means no, and "Leave me alone" means "Leave me alone".
And in the reverse, giving these kinds of messages to girls does not encourage them to be strong, independent thinkers.  It encourages them to not know what they want, to think they need to be all coy with what they want, and to generally act like children.  
This is one of my favourite blogs, and in this entry, she discusses how we teach children from a young age that hitting means liking, and how screwed up that is.  I agree.  I, for one, do not want affection expressed that way.  If someone tells me "I love you", I want it to mean just that - not "tell me you love me right now" or any other message.


All of this to say, if I tell you I love you...I secretly hate you.  But I promise I'll be consistent about it.