Hatin' and Appreciatin'

This past week, I've been back home in sunny southern California, thoroughly enjoying all the beach time, perfect weather and burritos it has to offer.  Every time I'm home, all I can think is...my goodness I was such a whiny brat.
As I'm sure anyone from my home town would agree, this town is not exactly a happening spot, especially when you're a teenager and your mobility is limited.  I never understood why my parents moved there - it's small, it's boring, nothing is open past 7 PM.  When a small skate park opened when I was in middle school (possibly elementary school?) it was a BIG deal.  Will children be out and about...after dark?!  The hooligans!  We also talk like we're stuck in the 1950's in my town.
But anyway, when I drive into my town, this is what I see.

Seriously.  I lived here.  And complained about it.

If you've seen the movie Easy A (and who hasn't? AFI Top 100 List material if I've ever seen it), that was all filmed in my town and actually at my high school.  I went to see it with a high school friend at a theater in DC and we may or may not have pissed off everyone else in the theatre by yelling out everything we recognized.  As I said...the whole thing was filmed in my town, at my high school.  So we were slightly obnoxious.


So yes, every time I come home, I get mad at myself for wasting time as a teenager with all my complaining when I should have been soaking up the great weather, the beautiful mountains, the delicious oranges that grow everywhere.  And I've been beating myself up for this since my very first visit home in undergrad.  This, in part, is because I went to school in a really, really ugly place.  If you're wondering, Abilene, TX is not pretty.  There are maybe 3 trees in the whole town, and the grass is green for a glorious 2 weeks some time in April.  Otherwise it's brown.  Everything is brown.


It wasn't until I moved to New York and went back for a visit with some friends that I realized...Abilene is a pretty special place.  People are unbelievably friendly, you never have to work that hard to find friends, people throw amazing dance parties in their living rooms, and best of all, you can always find parking.  Always.  


So it's possible you are seeing a pattern at this point.  I did not.  I did not enjoy living in New York (it's crowded! People are mean! Everything is expensive! I have to be a teacher here!) and visiting Abilene just reinforced everything I was hating.  And the things I did actually like about New York got all mixed up and muddled in the hating.


I know everyone says that you have to live in the moment, embrace where you are, blah blah blah.  I have come to agree with that, but for totally cynical reasons.  This is coming up even more so at the moment because I'm trying to figure out where in the world I'm going to live when I graduate.  But anyway, currently, I live in Washington, DC (or "Warshington", if you're a Newt fan.  Also, if you're a Newt fan, you probably do not enjoy anything else I've written.  Sorry.)  I love my city.  Love it.  It's easy to get around, the buildings are beautiful, cool things happen here, and my school is pretty great.
Being happy with where I am, though, has also allowed me to be realistic about the things I don't like about living here.  For example, the winters are cold.  It's also annoying that my vote doesn't matter, there are no good cheap nail places and very limited Mexican food.  Also the winters are cold.  And it's taken all my past locations out of either their nostalgic rosy glow or PTSD-dominated nightmare state.  Examples: My hometown is really, really beautiful and cozy and has great burritos.  However, your neighbors have a ridiculous amount of control over your day-to-day life, nothing is open when you need it to be, and you are forced to run into your high school teacher when you're at the grocery store.  New York is cold and expensive and hard to get around and I did, in fact, have to be a teacher there.  However, the food is amazing, you can see some amazing concert/movie/talk pretty much every night of the week and there are bagels.  Delicious, amazing bagels.


So what is my point here?  My point is, if you're anything like me and you tend to idealize the past and complain about the present, there is a really good reason to appreciate the grass on this side of the fence.  It allows you to complain with greater clarity and specificity, and really, isn't that what makes the world go 'round?