True Age Test

I remember for a while there was a little fad of "True Age" type IQ tests or physical tests or whatever that were supposed to tell you how old you really were, based on how long you could stand on one leg (thank you, Wii) or how fast you could answer questions.  Those are all well and good, but here is how I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am a 90 year old woman on the inside.


1. I never remember anyone.  Ever.  Some friends and I have an incredibly awesome facebook group (it's secret and you can't be in it) in which we mostly bitch about how dumb other people are.  Also, we are really mature.  But anyway, a good portion of our posts are along the lines of, "Remember this person? Look at where they are now!"


I never remember who it is.  Ever.  I think maybe during high school I only saw my teachers and friends and whatever boy I was in love with at the time or something.  But I remember no names or faces and if someone told me I was actually home schooled, I wouldn't have a whole lot of evidence to refute it.  This is very related to Piece of Evidence #2.


2. The eras of my life are already getting blurred.  I was listening to Marc Maron's podcast today, and he was talking about a recent visit to Boston, where he used to live, and how he kept running into people and not remembering if he knew them when he was in college, when he was older, when he was a kid, or what, and how at his age, he's gone through so many life stages that they all get put into one pot.


Apparently my age is already enough for me to do this.  I recently saw someone on the street here in DC that I'm pretty sure I recognized, but didn't go up and talk to because I absolutely could not place if she was a California acquaintance, Texas, New York, DC...maybe the solution for me is to stop moving.


3. I don't like loud activities.  The one exception to this is dancing.  But other than that, my favourite things to do include reading, watching massive amounts of TV, jogging, listening to talk radio and podcasts, and shopping by myself with headphones (listening to talk radio and podcasts).  I love love listening to music, but concerts...meh.  People are so loud!  With the yelling and the speakers!  Also, get off my lawn!


4. I get sick all the time.  Pretty sure any insurance company that actually evaluated my immune system would conclude I have the same expected costs as a senior citizen.


5. CNN tells me so.  All of its ads are for erectile dysfunction, retirement plans, AARP auto insurance and mobility aids.  Although they also seem to think there's a slim chance I'm just a Christian single looking for God's match for me/in the market for a fleet of airplanes.  Little do they know, I'm a just a Wolf Blitzer fangirl.