Football Fandom

I am not into American football.*

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The previous sentence was one I've believed to be true about myself pretty much my entire life.

Fact: I am not a fan of violence.

Fact: I am not a fan of stopping and starting.

Fact: I am not a fan of competition/excessive testosterone

Fact: I am not a fan of close-up shots of men's asses.

I thought all of these facts added up to me never being able to enjoy football. None of these facts have actually changed. I am still not a fan of any of those things. But man, learning the rules of the game really makes a big difference.

To be fair, I should have learned this much faster. The same thing happened to soccer at age 17 (although the appearance of Cristiano Ronaldo may have also been a factor) and to baseball at age birth (thank you Mom). Not that that made me good at sports or especially willing to participate. When I was 8, I remember being forced to play baseball in PE and standing out in far, far left field (my specialty position) picking flowers, when I heard our teacher and some boys getting into an argument about what happens when a ball bounces on field and then into home run territory. (Note: it is highly likely this happened because I was supposed to catch something and didn't) I shouted, "It's a ground rule double" and promptly got back to my flower picking.

Anyway, this makes me want to learn the rules of other sports I find boring. As in, all of them. What new worlds will be opened up to me? Basketball? Hockey? Curling?

I think I'll start with rugby. Let me have some more quality time with my dad. I would say cricket for the same reason but, well...I've watched that sport my whole life and still don't understand what a point is. Or a run. Or a wicket or whatever. Pretty sure it's a lost cause.

But the point of all this is: I was actually sad the 49ers lost tonight. Because I was watching (until Downton Abbey came on, obviously). And I cared. I am very proud of myself.

*I don't include the "American" descriptor because, like most people who use such a phrase, I am a pretentious jackass. I do so because I have big chunks of family who honest-to-goodness need the clarification. They can't help being born in the wrong country.